Monday, November 22, 2004

Interesting observations from work;

Older, smarmy man with young Asian mail order bride. They proceeded to make out the entire time they were there and came up for air long enough to scarf down their food. The AMB was observed fondling his naughty bits and giggly girlishly. These fuckers also stayed about 45 minutes past closing time causing me great anger.

Today one of my co-workers toked up at work. All hilarity ensued because this person was acting completely apeshit. I would say more...but you never know who is reading this shit.

All in all...a decent two days at work. I get, like four days off this week because of Thanksgiving. Whee! And also BOO!!! I like money.

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Queenie 6:07 PM

Saturday, November 20, 2004

The Spongebob Squarepants movie is pretty shitty. We took the kid to see it tonight thinking it would be good since the cartoon is usually pretty awesome. In a word? It was crap. I noticed that there were quite a few mature jokes in there that would make any of the snotty people that live around here cringe. Patrick Star showed his ass...a lot and there was a cameo by David Hasselhoff. I'm embarrassed to admit this, but the Hasselhoff part was the best thing about this crapfest.

I guess since Toots enjoyed the movie it was money well spent. It was just the longest hour of my fucking life.

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Queenie 9:34 PM

Wednesday, November 17, 2004

Did ya'll know that if you apply a pile of salt to your skin and then press an ice cube to it it will cause a burn? Some of my brilliant co-workers told me about this and I totally didn't believe them so we conducted an experiment. I currently have what looks and feels like a rug burn. That itches. And then promptly smarts when I scratch.

Holy hell, batman.

I guess I shouldn't be so easily influenced. The truth is, I did it because I was told it would burn like acid and when it didn't hurt, I didn't take the ice cube off, thus creating a larger, more painful burn mark.

I get my smarts from my daddy. ;)

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Queenie 7:43 PM

Tuesday, November 16, 2004

I work with a rock star

These kids are amazing. Give them a listen and if you live in the ATL, check them out!!

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Queenie 9:47 PM

Tuesday, November 09, 2004

It's nice to know that you don't lose it once you get married.

Case in point; I had two guys come in today. They were nice guys and me, being my usual bubbly self developed a rapport with them. I offered them the usual staples, then got into small talk. One of them looked at me and asked where I was from. "Originally, from Los Angeles" I replied. He starts asking me if I like to go out and starts telling me about the happening ATL nightlife. He asks if I'm into that sort of thing. Now, let me just say that I left in a complete frenzy this morning. I forgot my earrings, bracelet, watch, AND wedding band that I always wear. So, keep in mind that the guy wasn't a complete ass...he just honestly didn't know I was married.

So I look at him and smile...and say, "well, my husband and I aren't really into the whole clubbing thing, you know?" An akward second passes before he slowly says.."Ohhh...you're married?" "Happily for four months" I say. Not to be deterred, he finally shows his assy side by saying..."Oh, four months, huh? It's not too late to talk you out of it." I chuckled and let him know that wasn't gonna happen. He gives me the head to toe look and says..."Hmm, too bad."

Don't get me wrong, the only eyes I like to attract are those of my dear, sweet husband, but it's still nice to know that even if the dude is smarmy, there's still someone checking you out.

Also? I rule the world. I got a really nice tip from someone who wrote that I was a great server.

Buzzayum!!

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Queenie 11:05 PM

Monday, November 08, 2004

It occured to me while driving in the car this morning that I see a lot of interesting people at my new job. Situations happen that are completely absurd and hysterical all at once. I should share these stories with you all. It will give me motivation to post and it will entertain what few people read this damn thing.

For our first story, I want to share a real gem. We have this "customer" that comes in all the time. Each time she does so, she swears it will be the last time because the person that helps her totally sucks (so she says) and everything about our restaurant sucks, blah blah blah drunken cakes. So last night, she comes in. She was in on Halloween night and made our bartender cry and threw money at another one of my distinguished colleagues. You get the gist now of how batshit crazy this bitch is?

Ok, good.

So she comes in, and has a seat. She is being waited on by one of the newer members of the team. This girl couldn't be mean to someone if she was paid a million dollars. It seems that all is going well and we wont have any crazy outbursts from this woman.

Until she gets up to leave.

She tries to stand up and immediately loses her balance taking down the innocent plates that were on her table. She quickly composes herself and takes another stab at walking out. At this point, I'm standing near the beverage station and see her staggering. It was completely ridiculous...like something out of those bad DUI movies they made you watch in Driver's Ed. She nearly eats it and smashes into this column we have and our shift manager immediately intercepts her and sits her sloppy ass down. We have a responsibility to not let crazy ass people drive drunk all over these parts, you understand. So now, there's this woman sitting on our bench at the front door who is completely shit faced...and she starts getting wacky.
She was muttering to herself and appeared to try and dial her cellphone..next, she pulled out a pair of panties, THEN she passed out and started snoring like, whoa. At this point, we can't find anyone in her family that can come claim her, so it's time to call in Atlanta's finest. A quick call to my husband gets us the number for the local station and in minutes, two cops show up at our joint. Now..let me just set the scene...there are four servers working with no host and the place is completely JAMMED with customers. Needless to say, it was very entertaining to the guests (and all of us who had been insulted by this bitch) to watch the cops telling this lady they're gonna write her ticket and finally decide to arrest her for public drunkeness.

They start to take her outside to load her up...and then the unbelievable happens;

She falls....flat on her face. A collective gasp goes through the dining room and everyone is muttering, "Oh God" and we look out to see...her still laying flat on her face while the cops stand there looking at her with a "What do we do now?" look. It was, completely hilarious. A few more minutes passed and suddenly we had fire trucks, ambulances, cops all standing outside trying to get her up and loaded. Apparently, she, as my new sidekick and nemesis Christina put it, "cracked her fucking head open" so they had to take her to the hospital. I'm only hoping that once they stitched her ass up, the cops hauled her off to jail.

Oh...and for the record, we only served her two glasses of cheap house wine.

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Queenie 10:56 PM

Monday, September 27, 2004

The post below this one was made because I had to re-publish the blog that no longer has the I'm Getting Married!!" link because, well, that day has come and gone and the webpage doesn't exist anymore.

Onto the good news;

Steve and I have been married for three months as of yesterday and it's so amazing. :) We spent the day amont family, having good food and just enjoying each other. We also shared a piece of amzing million dollar cake and french fries. Yum, yum, YUM!

Today it's raining like hell outside. We're getting the leftovers from Hurricane Jeanne. I'm also starting to feel like I'm catching the mother of all colds. Sucks when it's cold and rainy out, but hopefully it's not gonna be too bad.

My mom and grandma are here for the remainder of the week and it's SO nice to have them here. We're eating SO good and having lots of laughs. I miss my mom, but I sure don't miss living with her. :D

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Queenie 8:27 PM